Greg in Taiwan

The whole week before Greg arrived in Taiwan, I was eagerly anticipating his arrival. It was a long week filled with frustrations and disappointments at work, so I was mighty pleased when Friday evening rolled around. At about 9:45pm or so, Judy and I set out for Kaohsiung to pick up Greg, who I believed to be arriving at 10:50. Unfortunately, he was to arrive at 11:50. And, even more unfortunately, his plane had been delayed and so he arrived around 12:30. But at last he arrived.


It had been a full year since I'd seen Greg and he had undergone a few changes since then. Namely, losing nearly 80 pounds and looking like a furry, emaciated hippy messiah who apparently likes GWAR. I wouldn't have recognized him walking into the passenger arrival area had he not been bearded, dressed all in black, and wearing my Stetson. The Taiwanese around me gasped and murmured, saying things like, "Look, a cowboy!" and "Look, Jesus!" and at least one, "Look, a cowboy Jesus!" I snapped the above picture to capture the moment for posterity.


Greg met Judy and I (picture above ... I'm on the right) and then we drove him back to Tainan. It was nearly 2am when we arrived and a little past 2 when we finally got to sleep. However, the next day Greg was awake at 6am or so. This began a trend that has lasted the whole trip - basically Greg refusing to adjust to Taiwan time. Even now, over a week and a half into his trip, he is routinely going to sleep at 8pm and getting up around 6. This means that even on my vacation, I have to be up at 6 because Greg hasn't realized that you can hear everything in a tiny apartment.


For the majority of the time Greg has been in Taiwan, he has been riding on the back of my scooter. Now, I long ago became accustomed to the daily death-defiance that is driving a scooter in Taiwan, but it was all new for Greg. I'll post you a quote that he wrote about it (I apologize for any course language, but hey, it's Greg):

To explain the scooter riding in Taiwan comment. Compared to Taiwanese drivers, San Diego drivers drive like Ms. Daisy. They are tame and completely predictable when compared to the raving lunatics that participate in the raging-mongolian-cluster fuck that is daily traffic in Taiwan. Lanes are a suggestion, as are crosswalks, as are red lights. Hell I have no idea what police officers are for around here. I am pretty sure that they hand out gift baskets and back massages

Every once in a while, I notice Greg clutching on to my jacket tightly or leaning in too close, so I tap the breaks a bit so his helmet cracks into mine. He gets a bit of a jolt and I get a bit of a laugh, so it's win-win.


I've taken Greg around Tainan quite a bit. Tainan is the oldest city in Taiwan and used to be the provincial capital during the Ming and Qing Dynasties. Thus, the city is steeped in historical sites and artifacts, enough to keep even the most dedicated of history buffs occupied for days. However, Greg has no particular love for history, historical sites, artifacts, temples, or just about anything else that the city has to offer. So, we spent most the time on our historical tour goofing off and defiling various artifacts by taking weird pictures such as the one above where Greg is humping an 19th century cannon. Greg has also been taking a lot of video where he makes fun of the Dutch for their abortive attempt to rule Taiwan.


That is not to say that he hasn't had a good time. Greg has found a lot to love about Taiwan, mostly it's random weirdness. Such as the above picture of a strange-looking dog being kept in what is most certainly a bird-cage. He has also been fascinated with the oodles of incidents of gross misuse of the English language, such as "Jewelryr Jewelry" "Better than Best" and "It's for your Happy"


The food in Taiwan is often a highlight for most travelers, and the locals are particularly proud of it, but due to Greg's condition he hasn't been able to sample all that much of it. He has become infatuated with Taiwanese rice noodles, winter melon tea (winter melons pictured above) and all the delicious fruit - primarily the custard apple (shi jia), or what Greg calls "squish fruit". Other than that, however, he hasn't been able to try many things and has merely watched as Judy and I have devoured it in front of him.


Fortunately, he has gotten the chance to meet some interesting people. Probably the first besides me or Judy was this crazy Taiwanese man that we met on Christmas. We drove out to the boondocks to see a resevoir that has become a giant park. This man is the Taiwanese version of a park ranger, only way more festive and less armed. He was chewing quite a bit of betel nut and had the juicy red mouth to prove it. Ordinarily a little off-putting, his "betel nut smile" actually added to the festiveness of his attire. He was more than happy to pose for this picture.


I also took Greg to my school, where he got to participate in both junior high and high school classes. The senior high girls were mostly giggling and winking at him, while the junior high girls scurried away if he drew near. Nearly everyone in the school remarked how much he resembles Jesus. He had a good time and didn't have to endure as much tomfoolery as I thought he would.


Greg also got to visit some of my Taiwanese families, including Judy's family and the Wangs. Pictured above is me and Greg with Mr. Wang and his eldest son Nick. Mr. Wang is a great cook and he did his best to provide a good meal for Greg. Judy's mom prepared several dinners for Greg, as well. Unfortunately, due to his travel limitations, I wasn't able to bring him up to Chiayi to visit with my friends up there. Maybe next time.


Just in case you were worried I wasn't showing Greg around to all the beautiful places in Taiwan, I included these two pictures. The upper one is of the mountains surrounding Sandimen, an aboriginal village Judy took Greg and I to. It was a fun day and we got to see some singing and dance performances. Judy and I even got to participate in the final dance number. During the dance performance, there was a warning not to go to a particular area of the park, because it had been closed due to recent mudslides. Coincidentally, this was where we had just been. We set out along the road and saw no signs warning us to stay away. We wandered among replicas of thatched-roof cottages and slate houses, wondering why there were no people around (and no buses). Still, no great harm befell us and we got an unspoiled look at some of Taiwan's traditional culture.
The last picture is of the resevoir at Hutoubi, where we met the betel-nut chewing Santa Claus. It was a nice beginning to the trip and a good way to spend Christmas with my dear brother.

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His trip is winding down now, only two or three days left. Thankfully, I'll be able to see him in a few weeks when Judy and I go to San Diego. Until then, I'm glad he came and I'm happy that he had the chance to see Tainan and where I live. Hopefully, he enjoyed the experience as much as I did. Also, maybe he'll be able to convice Dad and Mom to come out next time, I'm sure they'd love it.